


you've been waiting long, haven't you?

by mercunana



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 5+1 Things, Ambiguous Relationships, Canon Compliant, Comfort, Cute Yamaguchi Tadashi, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hugs, Kinda, Light Angst, M/M, Soulmates, Waiting, author sucks at tags, cute tho, idk how to tag, platonic or romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:22:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29458938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercunana/pseuds/mercunana
Summary: yamaguchi realizes one day that he and tsukishima have been friends for ages, yet have never hugged once.orfive times yamaguchi wanted to hug tsukishima and the one time he does.5+1 fic :]
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 14
Kudos: 112





	you've been waiting long, haven't you?

**Author's Note:**

> honestly, i sometimes feel like a hug speaks so much more than a kiss or any other kind of show of affection. hugs can be so powerful and hold so many unspoken words and feelings, hugs can really heal the soul.  
> that's kind of where this idea came from, just because a hug can be so important and hold so much value... yeah i kind of rambled a bit in this and did not proofread too well :'( but nevertheless, enjoy!

1.

yamaguchi was ten when he saw the way people looked at him and wanted to sink into the floor and wished to pretend he never existed. 

the kids around him point at him and the boys like to come over and take their turns taking jabs at him, insulting him with their rude remarks that only middle school boys could come up with. 

yamaguchi felt the closest to trash that a ten year old could feel, the feeling of worthlessness that at the time, he didn’t even know was the word to describe the seeping feeling that dumped itself in the pits of his stomach. 

second year rolled around and yamaguchi was almost twelve, the bullying never stopped, and the effects were the same as well. but things were different now, because the feeling labeled as worthlessness that sunk deep in his stomach and squeezed his chest didn’t frighten him anymore. it didn’t surprise him when it came because it just never left. 

it just remained. and there wasn’t really anything yamaguchi could do about it. 

it was probably obvious that as the bullies grew older, their assaults became physical as well. it was mostly just a couple of punches here and there and forcing yamaguchi to carry their bags wherever they went. but it didn’t suck any less. 

it had been lunch time when yamaguchi sat quietly on the swings of the mostly deserted first year playground toward the corner of the school. it was a bit pathetic, he knew that himself. a second year who sat stupidly in a first year playground. 

he had only gone there to get away from the bullies, they’d been extra hostile today, breaking yamaguchi further and further into a state of distress he had been sure he would’ve cracked with an extra push.

 _“oi, yamaguchi!”_ and there the extra push had come. 

yamaguchi hadn’t even wanted to look up. he sat, still as ever, he had thought just maybe, maybe if he didn’t move, they would think he wasn’t there. stupid, but he tried it anyway in desperation. 

it didn’t work. not that yamaguchi expected it to. he wished that it had. 

_“look at ‘im, hiding out here like a loser.”_ they teased, the three boys, laughed together as they neared closer and closer to yamaguchi. he felt smaller, smaller. 

_“lunch time is coming up and we were looking for our bag boy!”_ one of them grinned, he had grabbed his bag and flung it over at yamaguchi so it hit him square in the face. yamaguchi toppled backward and fell onto the concrete, he scraped his arm. 

he started to cry. 

he saw their faces contort into ones of disgust, but he couldn’t help his tears. he was so young and so vulnerable and naive and sad. so sad. 

_“aw, he’s crying.”_ one of them said in a tone that made yamaguchi shrink. _smaller, smaller._ he thought to himself. he felt another bag hit his side and he winced, wailing out louder. he heard their laughs and the sound of dirt under their shoes as they neared closer, closer. 

then suddenly, a new voice. 

_“you’re pathetic.”_ the voice had said, short and sweet. it was an unfamiliar one, and yamaguchi looked up and met brown eyes shaded by rectangle framed glasses. yamaguchi would have almost thought the insult was directed toward him if it weren’t for the look on the boy’s face. the voice had been enough for the bullies to freeze. 

_“who do you think you-”_ one of them began to say before another elbowed him, _“that’s tsukishima, the really tall one- yeah, yeah. we should…”_

the bullies were quiet as they grabbed their bags from next to yamaguchi. the boy- tsukishima, didn’t miss the way yamaguchi flinched when they got near and raised his eyebrow. once the bullies were out of sight, yamaguchi fell backward and let out a sigh of relief. 

he had half expected to hear the footsteps of tsukishima get softer as he walked away, but instead they grew louder. he walked closer. 

yamaguchi opened his eyes and they met the now familiar brown ones. tsukishima looked unimpressed as he stared down yamaguchi. he was looking down at him, but it hadn’t really felt like it. 

through his watery eyes and scratched up face, yamaguchi flashed him a smile, one that reached his eyes and set one last tear dripping down his cheek.

if yamaguchi’s eyes were open, he would’ve seen the way tsukishima’s eyebrows raised and his eyes widened in surprise then his lips quirked into a small smile. 

yamaguchi glanced up at him and tsukishima held the same blank expression. _“get up from the floor, it’s dirty.”_ tsukishima said, a scowl playing on his features, but yamaguchi didn’t mind. 

yamaguchi didn’t mind because that was the one time the feeling in his stomach had gone away. it was light, fresh and warm in his chest as he looked at tsukishima. 

“thank you, thank you, tsukishima.” yamaguchi’s voice had still been a little wobbly from his tears but tsukishima only rolled his eyes and turned away. 

that was the first time yamaguchi had ever wanted to hug tsukishima. 

just a hug : _thank you._

  
  





yamaguchi was there to marvel beside tsukishima when he first spoke about his brother to yamaguchi. he had said something along the lines of how amazing his brother was to be the ace of karasuno’s volleyball team and yamaguchi never doubted him for a second. 

he would clap his hands together excitedly, a smile wide on his face as he told tsukishima just how talented and special his brother must be. 

it was in those rare moments where yamaguchi would see a ghost of a smile that tugged at tsukishima’s lips, his eyes would glow with pride and he would smirk at yamaguchi. 

_“yeah. that’s my brother.”_

and yamaguchi would smile eagerly, he’d chime in with bits like “yeah!” and “of course he’s amazing, he’s _your_ brother after all.” and tsukishima would not even tell him to shut up because he’d be smiling too. 

so obviously, yamaguchi is also there the moment the image tsukishima had built of his brother came crumbling down. 

they were watching the game, it had only just started but yamaguchi had been looking at tsukishima, smiling because tsukishima’s eyes had been wide and gleaming, smiling because tsukishima was so excited his lips stretched into a big smile. 

but yamaguchi saw the moment tsukishima realized. he saw the way tsukishima’s eyes looked straight ahead instead of down at the court. how tsukishima’s eyebrows furrowed and a shadow cast over his eyes, his hands swung down at his sides dejectedly and his lips pulled down into a frown. 

_“...akiteru?”_ his voice cracked and quite possible, so did yamaguchi’s heart. 

then he looked up and he saw tsukishima’s older brother on the opposing stand, his eyes locked on tsukishima’s and his eyes wide in horror. his brother was not the ace. 

tsukishima’s breath was released from his lips in a short scoff as he tilted his head down. his teeth bit at his lips and yamaguchi so desperately wanted to do something. 

yet tsukishima’s eyes blinked rapidly and he turned to walk away. 

yamaguchi’s outstretched arm hung lamely in the air as his eyebrows drew together. he saw tsukishima walk off and wanted nothing more than to pull him into a hug and whisper that it would all be okay. 

but he didn’t. he might’ve done so if he knew he would end up regretting it in the years to come.

just a hug : _i’m here for you._

  
  





the first time yamaguchi was called in to serve for the team as a pinch server he nearly jumped out of his seat. his eyebrows raised and his eyes widened as if he had misheard the coach’s words. 

him. him? did he get fantasy mixed with reality? did coach really call _him_ to pinch serve in a real match? 

he almost sat back down because he was convinced it was only the voice in his head, but then he saw everything staring at him and he realized it was true. this was _happening._

then his hands shook and so did his knees as he walked over to trade with tsukishima. all worst case scenarios started dancing around in his head and he didn’t want to imagine the look on everyone’s faces if he flunk this serve but his brain supplied him with the image anyway.

he walked over with wobbly knees and shaky hands, the encouraging glance his coach gave just made him feel all the more pressured, especially with all eyes on him. 

he met tsukishima’s eyes as they transferred the number, he must’ve noticed the way yamaguchi was a ball of nerves as he sighed. _“you’re way too nervous.”_

yamaguchi had jumped at the sudden voice, he was lost in his own thoughts, unable to hear anything but the voices in his head that threatened failure. 

but he was able to feel. and the moment he felt tsukishima’s hand on his own, squeezing it as he transferred the number, yamaguchi melted. 

he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t, tsukishima didn’t mind as he only looked over at him, lingering a few seconds too long. 

_“nice serve.”_ he said, his voice a monotone drawl but the encouragement was not missed by yamaguchi and the words took over his previous doubts. _tsukki believes in you._ he’d told himself. _you need to believe in you._

so yamaguchi found himself on the white line, he heard the whistle and he served. he’d flunked it. the moment he felt the ball on his palm he knew it wasn’t going to work. the deep feeling of uselessness settled into his stomach as the whistle sounded again to indicate he was being subbed out again. he felt the tears prick at his eyes and the all too familiar feeling of failure seep into his heart, it made it pound too loud in his chest and thump loudly in his ears. 

tsukishima was back there again and to yamaguchi’s surprise, there was no condescending look in his eyes, or a sarcastic comment to mock his failure, instead he just gives him a nod as he takes back the number, his hand once again placed right over yamaguchi’s and he’d squeezed it tight for a split second before he let him go. 

it was such a small action that yamaguchi didn’t let go unnoticed. though his distress, he felt his face unscrunch and a weight lifted off his shoulders. it was okay. that was what tsukishima’s touch felt like. 

the action was enough for yamaguchi but…

privately and selfishly, yamaguchi wished for a hug.

just a hug : _comfort._

  
  


4.

karasuno rested calmly on the bus, ukai was at the wheel, nothing but the low drum of the engine on the bus was heard in the midst of the rare silences of karasuno. 

it seemed that everyone was asleep, a sort of relaxing air hung over them as yamaguchi blinked awake, he didn’t know what roused him, maybe it was nothing at all. nevertheless, he awoke and looked around. 

a soft sigh fell out of his parted lips as he saw his teammates all quiet and resting, the calm feeling not something come by easily with this group of people.

then he realized it. 

the weight on his shoulder that knocked against him when he sat up, the soft snore that sounded next to him. 

he looked down. 

kei. 

his breath caught in his throat at the sight. 

kei with hair like moonlight. kei with skin that illuminated with the glow of the moon on a starless night. kei with unfurrowed brows and a certain serenity about him that made yamaguchi’s heart swell. kei with calm, easy breaths that made his chest rise up and down, up and down, up and down with the beat of yamaguchi’s heart. kei with his expression unperturbed and unguarded. kei... who was so beautifully kei. 

the name ‘kei’ that has never left his lips on its own. the name making its home in yamaguchi’s thoughts yet never having the courage to escape his lips. kei which felt so much more familiar than ‘tsukishima’ or ‘tsukki’ ever would. 

he felt compelled to rake his fingers through kei’s hair but stopped himself in case he would suddenly wake the other and he’d narrow his eyes in the way he looked at kageyama and hinata in slight disgust. he didn’t want that. 

instead, he knew what he really wanted. 

he wanted to ever so gently move his arm so that it would pass kei’s back and grab hold of his shoulder. where he would be able to pull him in closer so that the other’s head would rest on his chest and he could feel what it felt like to _hold_ kei. in which he would maybe wake and find nothing weird about the scenario, where he would only look up at yamaguchi with eyes half open and a lazy smile on his face and nothing would ever be weird or awkward about it because it was just meant to be. 

he wanted to hold him and he wanted to hold him tight. 

but he let his arm fall to his side without rousing tsukishima and it sat awkwardly on his leg. 

his arm twitched to embrace him, and so did his heart. 

just a hug : _you’re beautiful._

  
  





the world had stopped spinning. everything was frozen in place. 

that was what it felt like the moment he saw tsukishima block ushiwaka’s spike. 

it was a moment unable to be missed by any one person in the stadium. where it felt like everything went quiet and yamaguchi could see a light illuminate around tsukishima’s figure. 

he saw the spike coming and he saw tsukishima jump up to block it, at that exact moment, tsukishima’s words rang in his head. _“i don’t think i could block one of ushiwaka’s spikes, but it’d be cool if i could. even just one.”_

and he’d done it. the sound of the volleyball slamming back down on shiritorizawa’s side was the only sound that echoed in the stadium before everyone erupted.

his eyes stung with tears as he jumped to his feet to scream and cheer.

tsukishima’s yell hit yamaguchi’s ear immediately, as if he could pull it out of the crowd. there was this beautiful feeling that bloomed in yamaguchi’s chest, he swelled with pride. he’d known he was cheering too because his throat scratched and ached but he could only hear and only see tsukishima. 

a million things ran through yamaguchi’s head at that second. he wanted to shout his pride, he wanted to declare his happiness, but it all died on his tongue when he felt tsukishima’s eyes lock on his. 

he’d stood up and he’d searched the bench for yamaguchi’s eyes and his only. there was this certain gleam and beauty his eyes held, blazing with confidence and dancing with stars. he’d smiled too, more of a smirk but for a split second it flashed into a wide grin reserved for yamaguchi but left on display for everyone else anyway. 

he spoke with his eyes, a stare that said, _“look at me. i did it. i’m going to be the best.”_ and yamaguchi could feel nothing but happiness and joy for him. 

and really, if he could have jumped off the bench and flung himself on tsukishima, to have been able to wrap his arms around his neck and witness the smile on his face up close…. he would have, with no hesitation. 

just a hug : _i’m so proud of you._

  
  


+1

“i missed the last bus waiting for you,, yamaguchi.” tsukishima says the moment he sees yamaguchi turn the corner to the bus stop. he rolls his eyes while doing so but yamaguchi only freezes.

yamaguchi’s eyes go wide as he sees the familiar face, and the settling feeling of relief and desire suddenly warms yamaguchi’s chest. it is not so much the familiarity of seeing tsukishima as it is the feeling of relief that makes him gape in awe that he was really standing right there.

yamaguchi says nothing. tsukishima was supposed to leave an hour ago, yet he didn’t. he waited for yamaguchi to finish practicing at the shop. 

tsukishima rolls his eyes as he ducks his head so that his scarf covers more of his neck, almost reaching his chin. _how cute._ yamaguchi thinks, then almost laughs at how tsukishima would glare at him if he knew he’d thought that.

he glances over at yamaguchi with his eyes narrowed in confusion. confusion because yamaguchi had not moved a step from where he stood. 

“gonna leave me waiting all night?” tsukishima wonders out loud, his voice irritated but not really. there was a sort of edge to his voice that yamaguchi isn’t unfamiliar with, the fake irritation that yamaguchi definitely recognizes.

tsukishima tucks his hands deeper in his pockets when yamaguchi doesn’t reply, his nose and cheeks are a soft pink from the frosty winter air, his lips titled down in a unique tsukishima frown.

yamaguchi feels the sudden urge to hug him. the urge is a recognizable feeling in yamaguchi’s bones.

for once, as yamaguchi sees tsukishima, his blonde hair glowing under the light of the street lamp, his skin shimmering in the moonlight and his eyes that are a dark gold, holding speckles of glitter in them, yamaguchi doesn’t think twice. 

tsukishima’s face is calm as he stares at yamaguchi, his face void of all the usual snark and scowls he holds when faced with others _. he looks so beautiful_ , yamaguchi thinks. he holds the expression that is specially meant for yamaguchi. one that holds only the twinkle of fondness in his eyes and the softening of his hardened features. 

for once, yamaguchi doesn’t think about all the times he’s ever wanted to wrap his arms around tsukishima, and instead just _does._

so yamaguchi acts on a whim, he notices the way his heart beats faster as he sees tsukishima at the end of the street. _closer, closer._ yamaguchi breaks out into a sprint, the rush of adrenaline formed through the remembrance of all the times yamaguchi has ever held back from embracing tsukishima fueled his energy. 

he only sees a glimpse of tsukishima’s expression, one of genuine shock and anticipation as his eyes are wide and his lips parted in surprise. a sound of “yamaguchi!” was the last thing that yamaguchi heard.

but everything blurs as yamaguchi breaks out into a smile and throws himself on tsukishima. 

his arms wrap around tsukishima’s neck and he feels him stumble back, but he balances the both of them, like yamaguchi knew he would. 

he buries his head into tsukishima’s shoulder and holds him tight as if he was afraid tsukishima wouldn’t be there if he let go. he holds onto him to hold on to the feeling of tsukishima’s chest against his and the way his shoulder feels soft and warm and comforting and-

tsukishima smells like lemons; yamaguchi suddenly realizes. 

yamaguchi knows now as his nose is buried in tsukishima’s shoulder and he feels his smile grow wider. he was so close.

everything yamaguchi has ever wanted was there and yamaguchi felt warmth. warmth that spread through his chest to his arms to his cheeks and to the tips of his ears.

tsukishima, no, _kei_ was the warmth he’d been craving his whole life.

yamaguchi feels his past selves relishing the feeling of his arms around tsukishima as they had been so hopeful, so desperate to truly embrace him that now it’s happening, yamaguchi feels the giddy feeling travel up his spine. 

tsukishima pulls away slightly and yamaguchi refuses, he holds him tighter and presses closer to him, shaking his head. “just give me a second.” he whispers into tsukishima’s shoulder and tsukishima falters. 

yamaguchi hears a shushing sound before he feels tsukishima’s arms around his waist. yamaguchi’s heart halts in his chest and his breath catches in his throat. tsukishima’s hands were tentative but after a moment they held him tightly, tightly like yamaguchi held him. he bent his head down to lean his forehead against yamaguchi’s shoulder and yamaguchi felt his smile. 

yamaguchi sighs, a breath filled with content happiness as they stay locked in their embrace. tsukishima holds onto him tightly as well, and there is nothing but closeness between them yet yamaguchi wishes to be closer. 

so he holds him and he holds him as if he will never get another chance, as if he will have to relive the past six years. to always want to embrace him like this but never being able to. he didn’t want to be stuck always wanting this feeling he feels now, so he holds him tight and he holds him with the wish to be stuck like this forever. 

“yamaguchi,” tsukishima whispers and yamaguchi feels like he knows what’s coming and his stomach drops. he doesn’t want to let go. he doesn’t want to let go if it means he will never have the chance to do it again. 

“tsukki,” yamaguchi says, “i’m sorry, i just-” he pulls away first, the movement hesitant and unwanted as yamaguchi’s smile fades away. 

they lock eyes and yamaguchi sees tsukishima frown and expects the worst. 

but the worst does not come, instead, tsukishima hesitantly reaches out and tugs yamaguchi’s sleeve, he does it so harshly that yamaguchi stumbles forward and back into his arms. it is tsukishima’s turn to wrap his arms around yamaguchi’s shoulders. 

yamaguchi’s eyes widen and he freezes. 

“you’ve been waiting long, haven’t you, tadashi?” tsukishima says, his given name a soft, gentle sound that yamaguchi feels tickle next to his ear. it sounds so good leaving tsukishima’s lips he does not know if he ever wants to be called anything else. yamaguchi’s heart beats a mile a minute as he lifts his head to meet tsukishima’s eyes. 

they shimmer and shine with fondness that yamaguchi feels the heat prick at his cheeks as his lips widen with a real smile. everything is warm like honey and yamaguchi nods, his arms slowly finding their way around tsukishima’s waist. 

“too long, kei.” yamaguchi almost chokes as the tears gather in his eyes. the name that has always sat on the tip of yamaguchi’s tongue finally is able to leave and it sounds like a melody that parts away from his lips. he hears tsukishima laugh slightly. 

“you aren’t crying, are you yamaguchi?” his voice is flat and yamaguchi only shakes his head as he places his cheek against tsukishima’s shoulder. 

“no.” he sniffles, and tsukishima snickers. 

“you don’t have to hold me so tight, i’m not going anywhere.” tsukishima says, a small lilt in his voice, one that yamaguchi knows is meant to be reassuring and yamaguchi loosens his hold. 

“if i let you go, will i have to wait another six years to hug you again?” yamaguchi asks, and tsukishima shakes his head and looks up from yamaguchi’s shoulder. 

“no- i don’t want to wait anymore.”

“you won’t have to.” yamaguchi tells him earnestly, and he rubs his back while doing so, “i’ll hold you whenever i get the chance, tsukki.” he says, a blush rising to his cheeks at the sound of how cheesy his words are. 

“god, you're embarassing...tsukki’s back again?” there is almost a sound of annoyance that lies on tsukishima’s tongue and yamaguchi cannot hold back his laughter. his cheeks warm and flush the color of cherry blossoms. 

“kei.” he says. “kei. kei. kei.” he says, the name a beautiful sound, one that yamaguchi will say as many times as he wants only because he can. and he’s spend so many years wanting to and never being able. 

“tadashi.” tsukishima whispers, and oh how yamaguchi melts. “tadashi. tadashi. tadashi.” he mocks him, but his given name sounds like music even in the form of mockery. 

“never call me yamaguchi again, it’s tadashi now, okay?” yamaguchi tells him, quite seriously and tsukishima fights the giggles that bubbles at the back of his throat. “kei. kei." he sighs, "it’s so pretty."

“okay, okay, you embarrassing sap.” tsukishima grumbles and yamaguchi only laughs. he doesn’t miss how tsukishima squeezes him a little tighter and leans against him once again. 

he realizes then, that tsukishima had been waiting a long time too.

just a hug : _i love you._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> can you tell i'm tsukiyama trash... i am. i wrote this to break through my writers block that i'd felt, and i think it kind of worked.  
> anyways, tsukiyama are so dear to me :( they have my entire heart and i love their dynamic and relationship so much. this was kind of just a short, little fluff/angst thing i wanted to do, it feels kind of rushed and all but i kind of like it. i really just love imagining how yamaguchi has felt during their more important and special canon moments. i also love yamaguchi an alarming amount. but who doesn't?
> 
> anyways, thank you dearly for reading ! comment any thoughts you have :D


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